Spring Frost, Spring Lost

Spring Frost, Spring Lost?

Florence here, just trying my breast to be a great receptionist.
Yesterday, I had lunch by the fountain, in the town where I work. I was sitting by the water, and feeding the ducks, when all of a sudden a couple of giant behemoths rose from the depths. I was in awe….and I thought I might be suffering from (or enjoying) hallucinations, but a nearby woman said “HOLY CARP, I mean CRAP” No, really, these things were huge, and probably from the Paleolithic era.
So my editor in chief, I mean wife, was reviewing my writing from last week, and pointed to what she thought was a typo…”the earth was knocked off its tit” this was no typo….have you heard the boobquake theory? If not, go ask ya motha..

So at work, there is a guy named Tom (not to be confused with Thomas the tight-ass Texas Teabagger, I’ll get to him another day.) Now Tom is a nice guy, we think, but he has some really funny habits. Like he has a need to ask me what I think about shit that does not matter. He keeps grabbing chocolates right by my desk, and said to me “What do you think of the fact that I keep getting up to get chocolates during the day” In my head, I was like “Well, I don’t spend too much time thinking about shit like that, Tom” but I knew he wanted reassurance, so I said, “Everyone grabs those chocolates, Tom.” The kid is just nervous, and unsure of himself. But when we were talking about weekend activities, he said, “I like to sit around with my buddies and drink beers.” And when I said that I don’t drink, he was like “WHY????”
Poor kid tho, just trying to fit in with Flo, you know?
And hilariousness ensued, when he was trying to get to know the other new person in his dept, and she said to him “DO you know how to rollerblade?” He was like….”yeah, I know how, to rollerblade…”
But I think my funniest encounter with him was last Friday, I said…”so, what are you planning for this weekend.” In an effort to impress, he said, “Well,they always have these road races, I think I might go run one.” On Monday I was like, he Tom, how was the race, he said sheepishly, “I didn’t do it.”
Another day sober, another day older. More than 3 weeks without a cig, and going strong. Love you guys….take care.