Do I miss it?

Do I miss it?

I went for a long walk tonight. Walking usually gives me a good opportunity to think, provided I am not on my way to work, to a meeting, or to some other thought occupying engagement.

On my walk tonight, I began to think about my past messes. I thought about how hectic life was. It came to my attention that life is really a lot less stressful these days.

For that I am grateful. On this walk, I realized that at times I miss the drama.

When I was doing bad things, I always had a crisis to attend to. I usually was able to talk my way out of it. At times I couldn’t and I would drink to quell the rising guilt, stress, or general discomfort that my behavior had caused.

That “out” is gone. That stress is fading as well.

I am not sitting here spouting off that life is easy. That would be quite a fantastic lie. The point is that I don’t have to drink away my feelings. I can deal with them, as they crop up.

So back to the focus of this piece, do I miss that old way of life? I don’t. Do I miss waking up in the morning, wondering who I had harmed, how much money I had spent, or what the hell happened the night before? No.

This is one of the gifts I am given in sobriety. It is a blessing. The gift of reason (at times) is starting to show itself. The gift of better judgment is creeping in as well. The gift of sanity, although evasive at times, has started to fall into my life.

I will keep showing up to meetings. Something magical is happening there. I will continue to listen to those who are also struggling with the pain of addiction, of loss, of heartache.

Have a great night, folks.

PW Hatsley

Fishme a new one

Fishing for Unity

I may be obsessed with fishing. For someone who does not fish very often, (anymore) I think about it probably 5 times per day. Some of those periods of thought are 30 minutes in length.
I used the subject of fishing at work to get the VP of Engineering to “like” me.

This guy is a tight ass teabagger. He is a self-important dude, from Texas who really loves to hear himself chat.

He thinks he has the answer to everything. He actually is a genius, and his engineering skills are immense. But I felt really harassed by this guy from the start. He would walk by my desk and flash a sarcastic peace sign. Often, when talking to prospective contractors, he would tell stories about his grandfather, who nearly died in WW2. I would hold my resentment towards him, because of his power in the company. I never told him that both of my grandfathers, plus my father and brother, had served in War for the US.

Anyway, the way I turned this guy from enema to friend was quite simple. I asked him about fishing. His eyes lit up. Political grudges slipped away. He started to tell me all about his salt-water fishing vessel.

I jumped on the opportunity. The next week I brought in an issue of Saltwater Fishing magazine which featured a picture of a Gator Trout. When he walked by my desk, I casually showed him the mag. I asked about his experience with these beastly trout. He told me how he used to catch them.

I shifted the subject to catching blues and stripers in the chilly northeast waters. He said he had pulled in a couple of small ones. My next moved turned his opinion of me, if just for an instant. I explained exactly how he could guarantee a good catch. I instructed him on different baits, chums, and lures to use. I told him why certain areas were better than others. I also helped him to understand that fishing for stripahs in the wee hours of the am was the best way to go about it.

Since that day, he seems to like me. He respects my intelligence. I am sure this is not the case, but for just a moment, I may have opened his mind up to acceptance of Massachusetts liberals.

Fishing does this. Hunting does this too. But Fishing is the uniting force in this country. Rednecks fish, Blue collars fish, Big-wigs fish. Ted Williams was a world-class fisherman. Fish is the best source of protein in our diets.
I hope I can go fishing one day.


-Patchman Fishington

Go Scrappers!!!

My new favorite baseball team is the Mahong Valley Scrappers. They are a single A baseball club for the Cleveland Indians franchise. I have always been a fan of the underdog, and since the Red Sox no longer fit that description, I have been forced to find a new club to ROOT ROOT ROOT for.

They have the coolest logo in the world:


http://web.minorleaguebaseball.com/index.jsp?sid=t545

I have a hat....and I know a part owner of the team. I hope to be a substitute bat boy for them one day, or possibly a groundskeeper.



Below is a list of former Scrappers with MLB experience along with the year(s) spent in the Mahoning Valley.
Player (MLB Team) Year Player (MLB Team) Year
Josh Bard 2001 Chris Magruder 2003
Fausto Carmona (CLE) 2002 JD Martin 2006
Ryan Church (PIT) 2000 Victor Martinez (BOS) 1999
Trevor Crowe 2005 John McDonald (TOR) 2000, 2003
Eric Crozier 2000 Marshall McDougal 2002
Kyle Denney 1999, 2005 Lou Merloni 2004
Einar Diaz 2002 Matt Miller 2005
Ryan Drese 1999 Mike Porzio 2004
Chad Durbin (PHI) 2003 Argenis Reyes 2004
Mike Edwards 2001 Paul Rigdon 2003
Ben Francisco (PHI) 2002 CC Sabathia (NYY) 1999
Ryan Garko (TEX) 2003 Carl Sadler 1999-2000
Chris Gimenez 2004 Tony Sipp (CLE) 2004
David Huff (CLE) 2006 Brian Slocum 2002
Joseph Inglett (MIL) 2000 Zach Sorenson 2001
Kevin Kouzmanoff (OAK) 2003, 2005 Jason Stanford 2005
Aaron Laffey (CLE) 2004 Brian Tallet (TOR) 2000, 2004
Juan Lara 2003 Wyatt Toregas 2004
Scott Lewis 2004-2005 Eider Torres 2002
Jensen Lewis 2005 John Van Every 2001-2003
Hector Luna 2000 Chad Zerbe 2005

Im an A*hole

I used to hate people like Denis Leary, for being so brutally honest. His old song...I'm an asshole was a very good way of describing how I feel about myself these days. I decided I might write my own version.


I'm a monkey, im a wrinkle
I'm a donkey, but my eyes twinkle.

I fart sideways, I smell like poopie
I can't stop me, from feeling loopy

I dont drink and I dont drug
I can't sweep my thoughts, under the rug

I've got feelings, they start seething
I'm like a baby who's started teething

I start yelling, I get angry
I shout my mouth off, when I'm mangy

I don't rhyme good, and I hate me
only sometimes, but thats lately

I work hard, in the daytime
and I punch things in my brain-time

I complain, and I know I'm wrong
I judge others, they hate this song

I talk about me, and its annoying
I should shut up, but its boring

I don't have a filter, on my mouthy
It's hard to control me, when I'm grouchy

I want to do things, that I can't do
I want a cd, and a new shoe

-PW Hatsley

McChristy Ballman

Gen Stanley McChrystal has got quite a set on him...huh? He's a real gem.

At a time when we are losing soldiers left and right in a dire situation, Mr McChristy thought it was a great idea to spout his mouth off about politics.

I am so grateful that we have a president who was strong enough to put him in his place. Thank God for Obama.

My brother is doing great now, but there are so many who never make it back. They die at war, and they don't ever come back. And this guy is over there talking about politics? FUCK STANLEY.

Happy 4th of july, readers, and God Bless America, where bowling still reigns as a major form of entertainment.


PW HATSLEY