sNo more SNOW

Brack History
Sno more SNOW
I have a feeling that Malcolm X and MLK have teamed up in heaven to bring this wrath upon us, in honor of Brack History Month. I support it, we deserve it.

So this crazy blogger donned a winter hat and headed to the unforgiving terrain of North-Central Maine for a weekend of Nordic Skiing. For some reason, I found it necessary it growl like a bear as I was trudging along. I found power in the growl, growl-power you might call it. The trip was a success, but I think more than anything it was a wake-up call about how much of a gross-foul-fat-pig I am.

My lovely editor-in-chief and I had the opportunity to listen to some Northern Maine talk radio on our return trip. The host of a weekly show had an agricultural rep on the air. This man had a FANTASTIC accent which I can’t even start to replicate. He was talking about how the wolves are coming back to the area, bobcats and lynx have already returned, Mountain Lions are gaining in numbers. This caused the hair to rise on the back of my neck, and I started to want a gun. Am I sick? Don’t answer that.
I have a mixed opinion on the whole gun control argument. I think people who tote guns and join the NRA are paranoid, silly, and have small penises. That said, I want one. I’m not gonna get one, but damn, they look cool. There has gotta be a sense of power and thrill to have some steel on you. Bam, no more problem. Why is it that Republicunts get to have all the gun-fun?
I have been feeding my argumentative side, which my sponsor and I decided I shouldn’t be doing. (resign from the debating society is the phrase he used) But I have been spending time reading the Letters to the Editor of my local paper, the Metro-West Daily news. You can read my replies if you check out the opinion/letters to the editor section of the site. I just can’t sit by while ignorant asses make arguments that don’t make sense. I’ve been shooting holes in their theories for weeks now. I use my favorite weapon, the keyboard. They are not happy to have this guy on their message boards. Well, fuck em. I’m making George Carlin proud.

Speaking of George Denis Patrick Carlin, I just finished his autobiographical work of genius Last Words. That guy was AWESOME. He writes even better than he performed. I recommend the book to anyone. It inspired me to act more on my creative impulses, and do more writing.

The Red Stockings will begin a season of Beisbol soon. All I have to say is Carl Motherfucking Crawford baby. And also, an observation I have about our other new ringer we picked up: Adrian Gonzalez: If you look at a picture of him, he is a Spanish speaking version of V-tek. Take a picture of his face, and put it next to Varitek’s mugshot. Same Guy. I want them to mess around with that look alike thing at some point, like have Jason trot out with a first baseman’s mitt, and see if anyone notices.

Thanks for reading, check back next week for some more incoherent ramblings from:
PW Hatsley

2010....the year of the Spillsbury Oh, Boy

2010 Year in Review

I enjoy reading different writer’s annual years in review around this time of year. I figured I’d give it a go.

2010, on a personal level, was a year like no other for Mr. Hatsley.
After a long period of underemployement, this agriculturist tried his hand at a new gig. Receptionist…..why not?
Humiliating, yes. Interesting, at times. PDubs can no longer wear his Cubs hat all day. He has replaced the Cubbie with a tie, and is looking to be a hubby and a good guy. Stop rhyming.

So, I work in a city far far away from the Dirty Ham. It’s ok, I got my license back. I also sometimes take the choochoo to work. Its fun. When I am feeling down, I pretend I’m the conductor. The passengers look at me like I’m retarded when I do the whistle sound, so I do it in my head now.

I am grateful for the following:
1. My lovely editor in chief/wife: Harah.
2. My job
3. My hero-brother’s miraculous recovery
4. My new racecar
5. My soberness
6. My friends
7. My relationship with my Pops (Clint Eastwood’s real-life twin)



On a not-Patrick note: WTF happened to the world? Really? Just 2 years into a new congress, we brought in a bunch of woodsmen to do the job. These folks, bless their simple little hearts , have never had a desk job in their lives. They march to the beat of a different drum. They have no concept of compassion, politics, or fun. They carry guns. They shoot things. They don’t understand history, but rant and rave about taxes. You would think with their fondness for burning fossil fuels, they would like to pay taxes…if only to have more roads on which to drive their 12 Cylinder trucks with tea-bags hanging from the tailpipe.

Baracka Bobama has turned out to be a very manly man, and an effective executive as well. He did more in 2010 than any other president has done in my life. Historic health care change (resented by all who don’t understand it.) He stayed alive (thanks be to the Secret Service.) He plugged a leaking oil well, and got the company responsible (British fucks that they are) to foot the bill for the clean up. He vacationed in the Vineyard of Martha. He smiled (once or twice, I think.) Then the lame-fuck session of congressional politics threatened. What did he do? Compromised, then wham, wham, wham. He knocked it out of the park. Over and over, he slammed through bills that will save this sorry nation.

The Red Sox played pretty well, although this hat-wearer found a new ballcap to wear. Mr. Legsly, fear not…..your Scrapcap will be presented to you this spring.

The Patriots are a dominant force. My favorite Pat is a man by the name of Patrick Chung. I asked my Pepefriend whether or not he thinks that Mr. Chung is well Hung. We both agreed he was, but that we wouldn’t talk about it anymore (it made us feel a little weird.)

Speaking of well hung, ShaKeer Oneer came to the Boston Ballhandlers. Who would’ve guessed it. He now has a shot at being on the list of the 4 best Handball Centers of all time. (CAN YOU DIGGG IT????)


We started our withdrawal from Iraq. Thanks DUBYA for a losing quagmire of a stupid fucking fight, but I am glad to report we are pulling back. Afghanistan remains to be destroyed until 2014. I am glad to have Mr. Patraeus at the helm, instead of Stanly Fuckface.

I am sorry to report folks, that Hip-Hop is dead. It takes a month and a half to find a new rap or Hip-hop album that is worth anything. Damian Marley and Nas, however put out an album that changed my life.


That’s pretty much all I got for you folks. Keep your chins up. I hope to write more in this new year.

-PW Hatlsey

Mass Cocoon

Elections are over. Finally, I can drive to work without having to listen to NPR every single day. As a sober alcoholic, Politics can become a serious problem for this gentleman hatwearer. Talk about things that are out of my realm of control.

I am happy to report a clean sweep for Democrats. For the most part, all contested seats went to the party that actually gives a damn about people. We took the Govnah's seat, again. I am very pleased.

But what the hell happened to the rest of the country? We are in a world of shit folks. A world of shit. Tea-Party candidates provided me with much entertainment (Sharon Angle to a group of Latino students: "You don't all look Latino to me, some of you look a little more Asian.") Wow, way to throw away a senate bid Sharon. But then a lot of them actually won.....I seriously thought they were joking this whole time.

No joke, a world of hurt, America. Brace yourselves hat-men this could be a rough couple of years.

In other news, dean has gone Yellow....what a mighty fine fellow.

Goodnight.

How can you argue?

October 16, 2010

Upon attendance of an awe-inspiring rally featuring the following characters:

President Obama
Gov. Deval Patrick
Mayor Tom Menino
Rep. Ed Markey
My not so favorite Senator Kerry
Former Senator Kennedy's wife Vicky Kennedy

Singer Songwriter James Taylor

How can anyone with a heart, mind and or soul argue with the policies of Obama and Gov. Patrick???

It was made abundantly clear for Me, PW Hatsley once again why I am a Social Democrat.

IT MAKES SENSE.

I was moved to tears on numerous occasions. I felt embarrassed by this a few times, until I looked to my right and saw a huge black man shedding the same tears of joy, relief, pride, and genuine love. I then looked behind me and saw a life-long schoolteacher/librarian crying. I looked to my left, where my editor-in-chief/soulmate was crying. It was truly amazing.

Deval was on FIRE. Not cook-out in the backyard on fire, but burn down the establishment fire, Catch a fire fire, and Trample dem, Trample dem, Trample dem (Babylon) fire. Watch out White Bread Baker, cuz.....WE NOT DONE YET.....

He was spitting the stuff that got him elected, the stuff that MLK spoke of. The Dream that was brought to us by our fore-fathers, and the dream that JFK, RFk, and Teddy K were famous for.

He was electric. He got my vote. He made me proud to be an American, proud to be a Massachusettsian, and Proud to be a Democrat......Thank God for Gov. Patrick.

And James Taylor...damn. How do you still manage to do it? Evry time baby.....I'll rockabye sweet baby James til they put me in the ground.


Thats all for tonight. I promise to try to be funny again once the elections are ovah.

Peace and Harmony.

Blog blog What?!?!?!

-PW Hatsley


to all my Greentown crew......keep on rockin in the Free World.

Still callin

The biggest problem I have with Dems was best put by my co-worker Java Pakistino:

"Democrats have no guts, they're always bringing a pencil to a knife fight."

Or my bowling buddy Brim Foldlook said:

"The Democrats know what they're doing, but the one thing they are horrible at is bragging."


Both quotes are very astute.

BHO, Deval Patrick, Dick Durbin, name any other effective and hard-working leader in the Democratic party and you will find a pattern.

They bust their asses serving their constituencies. They listen to the voter, they try to make changes, they truly care.

But put them in a room with Republifucks, and you will find that they back down. I understand that Republicans killed JFK for being smart and effective. I get it that Repubicans carry Guns, bomb innocent people, and deny any wrong doing they are accussed of, but DAMN. Stand up for you fucking rights, your opinions.

If they are practicing saying NO, then we say yes. We have had a majority for 2 years now. We have a lot to show for it. We need more. We are still so far from a socially just society.

Fuck Bill Gates, Fuck Alexander Hamilton, fuck Reagan. Fuck Bush 1, II and Jebby. Fuck em. Fuck the incumbent conservatives, fuck Ramblin Paul, and screw Meg Whitman in her Ebay face.

Shut them down in November, stop listening to the bullshit they spew, and for God sakes Dems, bring a knife to the table this time.

Yours in anger:

PW Hatsley
Chief Angry Consultant
Framingtown Proper

Tim Win in Sight

Tim Murray Campaign for Gov.

Don’t Break up the fight let, Let ‘em rumble…..

So I must be sick in my hathead, but I am back on the campaign trail….part time this time around.
I called 54 people last night out of the Milford Democratic Campaign office. Here are the numbers:
3 people will vote for Mr. Patrick and Mr. Murray.
7 people will vote for Congressman Neal, the US Congress Rep for that district.
18 people have a serious problem with DP and TM, because they quote: “HAVENT DONE ANYTHING FOR US”
3 people had no idea who Deval Patrick was.
1 guy told me all about how he thinks that the government is set up to give blacks and jews all of our tax money.

Ok, that’s fine…..WTF??!?!?!

Anyway, I make calls and help teach volunteers how to do it. I explain to the volunteers how we are just trying to call to reach out and talk to voters. The main goal is to figure out whether or not they are voting, who they might vote for, and if they need a ride to the polls on 11-2.
Two of my volunteers spent 1 hour talking to the person next to them, then when one of them was on the phone they told the person that Tim Murray was going to be the Governor in 2 years. I almost smacked the woman. God help us……

Hope all is well in the hatland. I am looking forward to the weekend. Hope Bean Spoony is good. I hope Mr Greglegs is enjoying his new Legwork. And Slimerman, I got nothing but love for you……Til next time…….

Contract for Freemerica

Late September 2010

Newt the Gingrich is up to it again. The "contract for America" it is called.

Newt has claimed that he and other conservatives have created a document which entails the American spirit, the freedom that the original founders of our nation intended. The document makes it clear what America stands for. It also lays out a plan for getting the country out of debt. There is even an extensive social agenda in the document, which talks about keeping our children safe, and keeping the terrorists out.

Now wait a minute folks. Stop. Newt had his chance. He was persona non grata for a long time in government. What does he think has changed?

First, the financial plan to get us out of debt is weak, unclear, and includes tax cuts which will hinder our ability to pay off debt.

I will admit that our children need to be safe, but I don't know a single democrat, socialist, or left-winger who is in favor of child danger.

Lastly, who the F*&# does he think he is? Who the hell gave him the microphone? Why do we even allow him to talk anymore?

The founders of this country were racist, gentrified, and bigoted. Every president we have had, with the exception of FDR, JFK, Carter, and now BHR have been Waspy, arrogant, angry, and inept.

We have the chance to change the old way. We have an opportunity to make our country free, for the first time. Now is the time to create a union in which every child has an equal opportunity to succeed. Finally, there is a real chance to fix this mess.

Now don't get me wrong, I am as white as the next guy (probably whiter.) But I am also an Irish Catholic. The last 20 years have seen Catholics gain more power, and we have started to get a foothold in society. This is new.....repeat...this is new.

But this does not mean that we are equal in the eyes of protestant Americans. Also, workers have never been equal in the eyes of land-holders, business owners, and money-changers.

I am obviously rambling.....but I will leave you with this:

We the citizens of the USA:

1. Pay taxes. (we drive on roads that are tax payer funded. we expect the police to do their jobs, we send our children to schools, and we want our country to be safe)

2. Do not support discrimination of any sort (economic, spiritual, religious, or gender-based.) This does not mean that as individuals we do not have pre-conceived notions. The point is that as a whole, we can not or will not put ANY group out in the cold.

3. VOTE VOTE VOTE......every citizen needs to show up to the polls. If we need to impose an Australian-like fine for voters who neglet their duty, so be it.

4. Care for our children, elderly, and fellows.

5. Relax once in awhile, trust in God, and trust in the process of politics.

6. Read historical texts BEFORE we jump to conclusions and spout off about shit that does not make sense.

7. Look for our own faults and shortcomings before we blame others.

8. Work, work, work. Shut up and do something.


I understand that this is not funny. But I have had enough. Obama was elected to one term as President of the USA. He may be half black, but he won fair and square. He has not committed any atrocious acts, so give him a chance. If we don't like the results, we have the right to vote for a new guy. Deal with it.

Thanks, and GO PATRIOTS.

Hang back and Watch the Fun

Sept 19 2010

Fresh from a weekend in VT, Pat X Anyhat just has a few remarks for the faithful.

Is anyone else out there fascinated with Sarah Palin?

I have gone from angry, to amazed, to angry, to shitfounded.

Now I just can't wait to see what is next out of her mouth.

She is really pissing off the true blue, who knew, elaphanitle conservatives out there. I get upset that people like her, but man has she fucked up the political world for the haves. The have-nots are still without, but people who have money and like to control the country are just at wits end here. A woman who can't even spell Alaska (without the help of Microsoft Word) has taken a part in many elections here in these United States. What a schtick she has going.

The woman worships in a crazy conservative hellfire pentacostal church, but acts like a soccer-mom who cares about her kids. She had a retarded child (we think) and just keeps traveling around the country talking about the same nonsense that she has been babbling since she left her post as the Governor of Russia (Alaska)

Who listens to her? Who thinks she makes sense? Seriously folks. And what the hell is Reagan thinking, as he watches from Hell? That's right, PW Hatsley maintains that Reagen resides in a Money-lie-death-hell. His hell is: Reagan has come back to earth in the form of a 3 year old black boy in Alabama. Poor guy, his policies have made it impossible for him to get an education, 3 meals a day, or to have his usual 3 drinks a night.

Anyway, Sarah Palin is running around talking about god-knows what, and people care!

I'm just going to step back this election season, and stare in wonder at the damage she does to the established Elephants (G.O.P.)

Go Sarah! Endorse some more idiots! Can't wait to see who's next: (Charles Barkley? After all: she needs to prove that she's not racist!)

Goodnight Readers.

TOM BRADY SUCKS.

PW Hattington

The Chicken Mayor

As if I even needed another reason to love Tom Menino:

Menino opened up an organic farm on Long Island (Boston harbor)

He was in the Globe today saying "Bawk, Bawk, Bawk, Bawk."

The farm is being tended by kids who are in trouble with the law, and organic farming experts.....Love you Menino

Also, He was recently awarded the highest honor an Italian can receive...
He was knighted by the Italian Monarchy.....Commandatore Menino.

-PW Hatsley